As GLBT History month comes and goes, so does another October and another anniversary of the brutal killing of Matthew Sheppard a 21-year old gay male from the University of Wyoming in 1998. His murder lead to very important hate-crime legislation. It also brought anti-gay discrimination and crimes to the national spotlight. It should be a reminder to all gay people of the struggles and losses we’ve incurred in our fight for equality and give us strength, if only for the sake of our fallen soldiers NOT TO GIVE UP. Instead, to stand together in the face of hatred and discrimination and try our best to be better people, to stand up for our rights and make a positive impact on this world.
On October 7, 1998, Shepard met Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson at the Fireside Lounge in Laramie, Wyoming. McKinney and Henderson offered Shepard a ride in their car. After Shepard said that he was gay, the two men robbed, pistol-whipped, and tortured him and tied him to a fence in a remote, rural area, leaving him to die. McKinney and Henderson also discovered his address and intended to burglarize his home. Still tied to the fence, Shepard was discovered 18 hours later by a cyclist, Aaron Kreifels, who initially mistook Shepard for a scarecrow. Shepard was in a coma.
Shepard had suffered fractures to the back of his head and in front of his right ear. He experienced severe brain-stemdamage, which affected his body’s ability to regulate heart rate, body temperature, and other vital functions. There were also about a dozen small lacerations around his head, face, and neck. His injuries were deemed too severe for doctors to operate. Shepard never regained consciousness and remained on full life support. While he lay in intensive care, candlelight vigils were held by the people of Laramie.
Shepard was pronounced dead at 12:53 a.m. on October 12, 1998, at Poudre Valley Hospital, in Fort Collins, Colorado. Police arrested McKinney and Henderson shortly thereafter, finding the bloody gun and Shepard’s shoes and wallet in their truck.
Henderson and McKinney had tried to persuade their girlfriends to provide alibis. At trial, the defendants offered various rationales to justify their actions. They originally pled the gay panic defense, arguing that they were driven to temporary insanity by alleged sexual advances by Shepard. At another point they stated that they had wanted only to rob Shepard and never intended to kill him.
The prosecutor in the case alleged that McKinney and Henderson pretended to be gay in order to gain Shepard’s trust to rob him. During the trial, Chastity Pasley and Kristen Price, girlfriends of McKinney and Henderson, testified that Henderson and McKinney both plotted beforehand to rob a gay man. McKinney and Henderson then went to the Fireside Lounge and selected Shepard as their target. McKinney alleged that Shepard asked them for a ride home. After befriending him, they took him to a remote area outside of Laramie where they robbed him, assaulted him severely, and tied him to a fence with a rope from McKinney’s truck while Shepard pleaded for his life. Media reports often contained the graphic account of the pistol whipping and his fractured skull. It was reported that Shepard was beaten so brutally that his face was completely covered in blood, except where it had been partially washed clean by his tears. Both girlfriends also testified that neither McKinney nor Henderson were under the influence of drugs or alcohol at the time.
Henderson pleaded guilty on April 5, 1999, and agreed to testify against McKinney to avoid the death penalty; he received two consecutive life sentences. The jury in McKinney’s trial found him guilty of felony murder. As they began to deliberate on the death penalty, Shepard’s parents brokered a deal, resulting in McKinney receiving two consecutive life terms without the possibility of parole.
CAUTION: the note below is VERY explicit and written by an (at the time) unstable individual, during his attempted suicide by overdose. Caution: EXPLICIT MATERIAL.
If you are suicidal PLEASE CALL:1-866-4-U-TREVOR
All names of individuals have been removed for their protection and privacy.
I am sorry to the people that I love but I cant fucking take it anymore. So I am gay. Why dooes everyone hate me becaus of that. Fuck them. I have been punched and spit on andcalled faggot, queer, loser, pussy, fag boy. Some asshole painted faggot on my locker. Some people do not talk to me. Fuck them, fuck everyone, I hate this fucking life know. I am so fucking tired of the shit. I hve receved hate letters telling me to leave school telling me that faggots aren’t welcome and that I am a fag. I am scared.and I am tiredand I cant take any more. Yesterday in the locker room some assholes said steven is such a pussy and faggot. He is an ugnly stupid faggotand we should kill him. And they knew that I could hear them. Idont know what to fucking thing now. Is it better that they kill me or I kill myselfi don’t fucking know. Ijust want to die and that is all so I don’t have to put up with this fucking shit. They don’t know shit . then are just fucked asshles. So I neeed to stop all of this fucking shit now. they don’t fucking know me they are all asshles. I hate everyone know. Iam a better person than any pone of themand I fucking know that for sure. I don’t want to be such a fuckng problem for my family either. Afterall you have a fag for a son. Why do people need to do thisand we did nothing. They should all be in prison.they are horrible I hate eveyht fucking one so fuck ethem. I know this that they are assholes. I wish that they could feel this shti that I feel then see what they do. Theycould not fucking take itand I know that withouc a doube.so why is this life so fucked.why I just am going to end eveythihng now this is it I need to kill myself I love many people mom and dad I love you and you didn’t do anything bad I hat e life and this is why I have to die I am scared and iam tired of being laughted at made fun of beaten up and threatened and shit and and feeling like shit. Fuckfuckfuckfuck I just need to die. Don’t be mad. Be happy that allt he bad shit I feel is goint fo be over finaly forever. God will understand,and I know that. Maybe jesus was gay. How do we know anyting. Maybe god is gay. I am gay and I should not be fucked over because of that. So fucking what. People are just too stupid. I am like evey fuckin otgher person just I am gay so fucking whant. Assholes. I should paint asshole on everyones locker before I die. Ijust font care anyhmore I need to go.i am so scared now. I now I need to die but I will be fine after I am dead. I am so sure of that because god will take care of me. I never did anything wrong and I know ai will go to heaven. And I hpe the assholes go to hell. What is a faggot someone ell me. I am just like fucking eveynie else godfuckshit. So [name removed] told me, why are you a faggot. Do you like to fuck guys fag boy. He said do you want to fuck me fag boy. If you try I will beat the hell out of you fag boy. You like guys little fag boy. You wnt to just fuck guysso what the fcuk is wrong with you fag boy. You are just a pussy stupid fag boy. You are such an ugly fag boy no faggot would even fuck an uglyfagg boiy like you. Then he laughed. So what am I supposted to do. He is big. He cold beat the shit out of me. So I do nothing and he laughs at me, and I go homeand higde and cry . then I think about comitting suicide agaoin. I have thought for a long time about comiting suicide. I need to kill myself.no other asshole is going to kill me. I wil commit suicide and I will have peace and be freed. So I need to do this. Yhou must understand. I can not live one more day. I will be so happy in heaven. I can just be normal like everyone else. I will not be the faggot, the queer, the fag boy, the pussy. I have wanted to be dead for so long. I don’t really know how I made it as far as thisbecase i jujst think about being dead. I am never happy. Why did so many people lie to me. I wish I never told anyone I am gay.why the fuck did I do that. [name removed] started this. I wish she was dead. i trusted her. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuk asshole. Cant I tll anyone. So I tell [name removed] because I was so fucking tired of hiding every day. And she tells everyone. Fuck herthe bitch. I hate her. She killed me. I love you mom and dad.because even though you did not undertand maybe you loved me and said I was fine and you would help me.but at school it was like being in hell. Iwas burning in hell eery day. I dould not tell you edeverythin thatwas happening. I did not want you to worryaboyut me. I coulnd not do that do you. I hope that youwill forgive me.plese forgive me. And rememberme when I was happy. And I am not a faggot I am a person that is all. Why was I a gay though, why me, why whey why why I always ask. I will never know. God must have wanted me to be with him now because he is tlling me to kill myself. I think that anywayse. And I know I need to commit suicide soon. But you need to know why. Don’t be sad. You wont have a faggot son anymore. So you will be happy. No more burden for you. Tell every0ne I got sick or something it doesn’t matter I just cant go on one day more I cannot fucking go on. No nofuckthi w wourld and everyone but I dnot mean you Ilove you mom and dad and I do have some rfriends and not many but most everyone is a stupid asshole and I hlpe that they get sick and die. I hate them for whant they did and most of all [name removed] because she started it all. I hate her hate her hater her hate her hater her she is the faggot if faggot means andyithing bad not me. And why doew fag have to mean anything bad , but I am gay not a fag and just a person like anyone wlse. I know that life is horible now. It is not worth living. It really is not worth living. Why should I go on. You must understand me. I cant do throgu h this any more. Of fucki cant. I am scared everyday. I feel like shit everyday I don’t want to go out anymore. I never want to go to school how can I learn anyting.i cant I don’t care. Grades so what and then I will work and people will call me fag I will always be a fag to them. Assholes assholes fuckfuckfkk No I wont let anyone else hurt me. That is anyother reason why I will commit suicide. Nobody will hurt me agaoin ever erer. No one will call me a fag or a queer or a pussy or a fag boy or anything. Nobody is going to spit on me again. Or write faggot on my lockoer of send me letters telling me that I should go to anothershcool because I am a faggot or say they should kill me because I am an ugly faggot and they should kill me. Or that I am an ugly faggot and noother faggot would fuck me. Who says I want to fuck or when or why or where. Whaty do they knowthey talk about fucking girls. I never talk about anyutint assholes fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck [name removed] started this shit and she should be imprison forever. Now I cnat stop cryuing I ma so fucked up my head is so fucked up mom and dad I am sorry. I need to die just undertand. Please understand and neverstop loving me. It is not your.and don’t be sadplease never be sad. Ifeel so sick not ikind of feel happy to because I know know it will be over soon. I don’t khow about ahat everything will be like ima kind of scared too. But I have to die nowbecause I can not take one more day ican not take one mor fucking day of them saying fag queer, hittng me spittin at me. They spit on me. God dam assholes. And [name removed] said that he was going tostick a broom stick up my assbecause he said that that is what I like. Asshole.illstick it up his ass asshole. Why did all of this happen my head is just so fucked up ia m sad always. I don’t remember when iwas happy. It was so long ago, or was I ever happy . can faggots be happy. I don’t knowbut I am not a faggot they are faggots and I am a person. I feel so much paing all of thetime I guessyou could say that I anm like numb. Because I am. Just pain all pain. And I hate the pain. I am always sad. Assholes. Andi hurt like shit. It is like they beat the hellout ofme with their stupid words. I guess that they do. They don’t win I will winbecause iwill be happy and they are hotiblepeople.fudk I cant stop crying byt I am very happy to it is weird. I guess I am cryingbecause I am sorry mom and dadbut I am hppy that I will be in heaven and no moreattakces. Is being a faggot mean you are inwariam fuckfuckfuck Itewqa on tuestdy that ithouth antoerther antoe fuckufuckfuckfuck. It was on tuestday fucking tuestday I am dead soon and haqppy fuck I should have a partey. I am just a person.they are they fucking fags. I need towrite a poem I am not a fag What is heavenreally like mom and dad. I hope it is all that not here. And don’t be sad because you will be with meagaoin. I know I know. I am getting happier now. I am becauseit is all ending now. I want you to know that I feel good now. I think I feel really good now , yes I do. I am not crying anymore and I am rfeeling happy. I think I will be happy in heaven no longer a faggot just a person. The real faggots are tthem I have to say goodbye now so don’t be sad. Please never be sad. I am happy. I am really happy now. Everying will be fine I am happeire that I have ever been because it is all over. Goodbye I love you mom and dad but I hate almost everyone else. Don’t be sad. I am happy now. Resources: Suicide.org (Suicide Note of a Gay Teen - Suicide.org!)
i will name iti am not a fag
You are the fags
Remember that
I am a person
You say faggot faggot queer queer but you don’t know anyting
I know that you are stupid assholes and that is more than you know
On September 22nd, Tyler Clementi posted “Jumping off the GW bridge, sorry” to his Facebook page moments before he took his own life. This along with the tragic four other suicides that have taken place in recent months bring a spotlight to a major problem in the United States; bullying, and discriminating against gay people in a time where gay people are supposed to be coming together and remembering our struggles and devoting ourselves to creating change (for GLBT History month in October) and the 12 year anniversary of the violent murder of Matthew Shepard for identifying as a gay male. It is time to unite. TIME TO BE STRONG. Time to gain strength from our fallen soldiers (b/c that is what they are, honorable soldiers that lost their lives in our fight for freedom).
Read more about Tyler’s story here”
Tyler Clementi, Victim of Secret Dorm Sex Tape at Rutgers University, Commits Suicide - ABC News
Clementi Vigils Held in N.J., N.Y. | News | Advocate.com
Jim David: How Many Teens Have to Die Before Focus on the Family Gives a Damn?
On July 9th, 2010, Justin Aaberg became so fed up with the bullying he received at school, unable to paste a smile on his face another day, and obviously feeling hopeless Justin hung himself to escape the torment.
All of these young, gay, bright boys died long before their times. Their deaths will not be in vain. We need to stand up for these boys. It will not be enough until not another person is lost to this fight. If gays were treated equal and not discriminated against by society and the U.S. Government, there would be nothing for people to make fun of, nothing to be ashamed about. As long as gays are kept as second class citizens, they will get bullied, they will get beat up, they will be killed, and they will commit suicide.
Here’s more about Justin, and his tragic fate:
Jim David: How Many Teens Have to Die Before Focus on the Family Gives a Damn?
Teenager Justin Aaberg Killed Himself Over Gay Bullying. His Mom Won’t Let Anyone Forget / Queerty
On Thursday, September 23, Asher Brown took his father-in-law’s gun and fatally shot himself in the head. He had come out to his father-in-law that morning and was tormented by his class mates in school. Asher obviously thought he wasn’t loved or that something was wrong with the way he was. Sadly, he was not able to bear the pain another day and maybe make it to a better place in his life, which was sure to come as he grew older and realized other peoples opinions really don’t matter (esp. some high school kids that he would never see again upon graduation), that there is no stereotypical gay (being gay means an individual is attracted to the same-sex and that is ALL-for example, I am gay, with no lisp., who loves tinkering on cars, watching baseball, and playing on the beach. When people meet me the last thing they would assume about me is that I am gay). I think many children discovering their sexual identity may have trouble with this fact because they only see flamboyant gays that are in the public eye and may falsely believe if they are gay they need to like bright colors or fit into a certain mold, which is NOT the case at all.), and that just because where Asher was from was not sympathetic to the way he was DOES NOT mean he would have never been happy. I KNOW that if Asher could have held on a little longer he would have realized that there are places in the United States that are accepting to all types of different people and would have loved Asher just the way he was. If you are in a similar place as Asher and are doubting who loves you, who cares, and if you will ever be happy, then contact me! BECAUSE I CARE. because I know what it feels like, because no matter how much you don’t want to believe me or how many times you’ve heard it before and you don’t care, please trust me when I say, THINGS GET BETTER to where you can be 100% comfortable with yourself and friends and family.
You can read more about Asher Brown’s tragic story here:
Bullying Drives Teen to Suicide | News | Advocate.com
Asher Brown Suicide: Was Anti-Gay Bullying to Blame? - Health Blog - CBS News
On Thursday, September 9th, Billy Lucas hung himself from a beam in his family’s barn as a result of the relentless bullying he incurred at school.
If only these boys could have some how discovered how beautiful and amazing life can be as a gay person. It is a tragedy that these boys felt so hopeless and isolated in their own small worlds that they believed their only escape was the ultimate sacrifice…
Here is a link explaining the rest of Billy Lucas’s story
ugh, I hate this part. On September 19th, Seth Walsh was discovered unconscious hanging from a tree in his backyard. He stayed on life support for 10-days until eventually passing away on September 29th.
This young man did not need to die. Yes the bullies played a large part in his death, but where are these 13-yr old “bullies” getting their ideas from?!? I’ll tell you where, from parents, from adults, from the United States’ homophobic culture and even directly from the United States Government. I mean of course society is not going to treat gays as equals or stop discriminating against gays until the U.S. Government stops violating gays rights and begins to treat gays as equals to all other U.S. citizens, like gays deserve to be, and like gays should have been treated a LONG time ago.
Here is a link to the story of what happened and how this boy lost his life long before his time. My heart goes out to his friends and family.
Seth Walsh: Gay 13-Year-Old Hangs Self After Reported Bullying - Crimesider - CBS News
Absolutely beautiful
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